Carl had been toiling away quietly for years, trying to drive specific types of improvements across the organization. He had no budget, no staff, and almost no support from senior leadership. For purely political reasons, that program was taken from Carl and given to me, then elevated in priority. I received a budget and the authority to staff a team, so I proposed a very aggressive timeline.

I was told that most of Carl’s job had to do with other tasks, so he wasn’t slated to come over to my new team. But in reviewing the work that was done, I saw Carl’s hand in almost everything. So I scheduled a meeting with him and his former supervisor (who had been recently reassigned). My plan wasn’t to use my new authority and “pull rank” in order to get the info I needed. My plan was to simply keep it REAL and see what happened.

Face-to-face should be REAL

At the meeting, I briefly explained the high-level plan that I had laid out for senior leadership and then started asking questions. Not only did I ask open-ended questions, I also listened as well as I could because I truly respected Carl’s expertise. Yes, I had resources and experience in standing up enterprise-level program offices – but Carl knew the subject matter far better than I ever would – and he deserved respect for that.

Once it was clear to me that Carl knew his stuff, I simply asked him what he wanted to do. His reply was, “I’m happy to do whatever the organization needs me to do.” I explained that, although I truly appreciated that attitude, the fact was that I was trying to build a team of people who really wanted to be a part of the mission. After a little more discussion, Carl said, “I really do want to join your team! It’s important, meaningful work and I’d like to continue doing it.”

Keeping it REAL is truly ‘human’

The REAL values may end with “Live” but they’re all only as good as the way we incorporate them into our daily lives. This meeting with Carl could have been a dry, “just the facts” sort of meeting but that just seemed too impersonal, given the circumstances. Instead, I chose to show Carl respect by treating him as the expert he clearly was. I engaged with him by asking questions, listening to his responses, and making it a two-way conversation. I accepted him by not holding him to preconceived notions, which were based upon what I’d heard from others. We can’t always stop ourselves from categorizing people or “judging a book by its cover,” but we can allow them to change our minds by being open to new information.

Later that day, Carl’s former supervisor came to talk to me. She said, “I just wanted to thank you for that meeting. I talked to Carl afterwards and I’ve never seen him so excited! What you did – the way you talked to him and listened to him – it was the most ‘human’ thing I’ve seen since I started working here. Thank you.”

So What?

Respect. Engage. Accept. Live. It’s a simple way to help us model the teachings of Christ every day – and the outcome is often amazing! By living the REAL values at work, an extremely under-appreciated employee was more excited about his work than he had been in years; and I ended up with a fired-up, highly motivated expert on my new team. Definitely a Win-Win scenario! All because I was keeping it REAL at my 9-to-5!

Now What?

Journal Prompts: Think about the last meeting you attended. How did you live out the values of respecting, engaging, and accepting? If you didn’t, what opportunities did you miss?

Next Actions: During your next meeting, pick a REAL value and intentionally live it!

Further Reading: It can be helpful to reflect on the value of putting others ahead of ourselves, as we read in this reflection for the 29th Sunday in Ordinary Time (Cycle B).

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